I've always worn a hat, since as long as I could remember. I never could really tell you why. Maybe I just liked the way they looked on my head. Maybe I just needed to support my local sports team. Those are the kinds of lies that men tell themselves everyday. I secretly suspected that there was another reason altogether. It wasn't until I left Made Man that I understood exactly what that reason was. I wore hats because my hair just didn't make me feel like the man that I knew I was. For the first 30 years of my life, I had been letting women cut my hair. I had been paying bargain basement prices at shitty butcher shops from the time my mom stopped putting a bowl on my head, mauling me with a pair of rusty clippers that she brought over from the motherland. I'd been paying ill-trained women to do a job that men should have been doing all along. And, it makes so much sense, doesn't it? Now, I love women more than anything, and I crave the soft embrace of a lovely lady, but you cant entrust your entire essence to someone who doesn't even know what it feels like to be a man in the first place, can you? Sometimes you just need the noble touch of another dude, the loving embrace of a fellow bro... in the most manly way possible. At Made Man, you get just that experience. The first time that I sauntered through those doors, all ragged and disheveled from not having had my hairs trimmed for nearly a year, Ellie took me under his wing. He showed me a whole new world, like Aladdin did for Jasmine, one where men had beautiful, masculine hair. He cut me with such precision, such skill, that I was left speechless by the result. When I returned home to my girlfriend, we made angry, animal love for several hours. I knew that it was the first time that she'd ever been with a real man. After that, when we walked together on the street, it was not an uncommon occurrence to see her fist fighting other women, in order to protect my hair and my honor. Upon my third visit to Made Man, I received a cut by the legend himself, Sam. He brought my sheer machismo to heights that had never been previously imagined by a mere mortal such as myself. I felt as though I was playing a super-heroic nintendo game... "achievement unlocked!" - This must be what Dolph Lundgren feels like everyday, the manliest man who ever walked this planet. Sam, however, told me that he already had a full stable of regular stallions to groom, and encouraged me to trust his entourage of well-trained man-makers. I was addicted to that manly feeling, so I fully intended to call upon Sam for my next haircut. However, when that time came, Sam was out of town. What was I going to do? I needed that fix. I came in anyway and was seated promptly. The man behind the clippers dazzled me with his technique. He buzzed and trimmed, like the Bob Ross of hair coifing. At one moment the hair was flying so furiously that I swore he had morphed into Edward Scissorhands. By the end, we were both out of breath and I was unrecognizable. It was as though David Beckham and Justin Timberlake had had a baby, a beautiful, half-Asian baby. The other men in the room couldn't even look directly at me, blinded by my mere visage. The women? They couldn't look away. I knew at that moment that Igor would be my barber for as long as he was cutting hair at Made Man Barbershop. What I'm trying to say is that when I first arrived at this barbershop of the gods, I entered a boy, but by the time they were finished with me, I left a man... a made man
— David U

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